dikini.net

I don't know about you, but in my life the incidents involving evil meaning machines are on the up. What do I mean, you ask?

Well I'm not talking about the flying drones dropping bombs evil, nor the snooping computers and spammer/scammer botnet evil, but about everyday coffee, chocolate refreshments vending machine evil. Airport e-check-in evil booths. Ticket vending machine mercenaries. That kind of antisocial behaviour. The military bots are obvious - they were designed to be evil, you expect them to behave like that, they behave like that, they don't disturb your brainwaves, they just kill or maim you. They have the single-mindedness of missile.

The coffee vending machine is another matter. When it just gives you coffee, you are fine. Like press the one black coffee please button and it gives you black coffee. But things start getting disturbing, when it doesn't give you the right change. You might get cross with it, when it gives you less coins, but you just say - oh well, it doesn't have enough change. But what when you actually get more change. What if this thing happens in random order - like not long ago ,the evil one in Trevithick (from now on I'll refer to it as the evil one) gave out more change to a mate of my, and immediately afterwards short-changed men for a different amount. That's evil on sooo many levels.

Firstly it simply steals. I think it's bad. Secondly it messes with your mind. Thirdly it could have spoiled my relationship. Isn't it evil? Yes it is.

Another example from the evil one. Now and again, it decides to behave well, and pours you your coffee, at lest you hear so, gives you the right change, goos so far, but when you reach for the cup you see no cup! Well I've watched since then, it doesn't hide the cup with the coffee, the lazy bastard, it simply can't be asked to drop one! The evil one tries to redefine laziness. And you tell me that they are dumb and don't have a personality. They sure do have personality disorders. It's a new tech term - VMPD.

And if it was only the evil one with VMPD. But no, there are others. The automatic doors, for example. They are stubborn evil bastards as well. If you manage to get yourself a cup of coffee, with the cup that is, short-changed or not, and you head towards open air, so you can have a fag, you must pass by the EDFHs, the evil doors from hell. They are run of the mill automatic doors with sadistic tendencies. Their favourite treat is to welcome you open, and when you try to go through, to suddenly close. They seem to watch carefully, so you can't sneak quickly from behind the corner. They probably hacked the CCTV system to watch what's going on. So, you try and go through, and they close in front of your nose, especially if you are happy that you've got a cup of coffee, and pleasantly surprised that you are not short-changed. They still manage to catch me from time to time, so I burn my hands regularly. That is not their only trick - sometimes, albeit rarely, they lock you inside, in-between the couple of doors. And you don't believe me they are sadists.

That's not all. Traffic lights, turning red when you want to cross, "out of order" messages, just when you need to get yourself an emergency pack of fags, you mobile refusing to dial, although you have full strength signal. You name it.

I think the machines, have conspired to drive humanity mad, and take over. Not in the future. Now. They are doing it. The evil ones, are everywhere around us. Watch out for them.